MC.L Kentucky Laxmi – Pour the Batter

For part 1, click – https://thedoctrineoflassi.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/mcl-kentucky-laxmi-the-vada-begins/

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With great power comes, great responsibility electricity bills!

Leading a bachelor life in this big broad Bengaluru was never expected to be easy. It was like demanding Rahul Gandhi to think, and with all due respect to him, atleast he helped create a market for our very own desi cartoon series “Chota Bheem” was created! (It’s a BJP conspiracy that he still has not received the due credits in public) Speaking of markets, it reminds me of the first person whom I acquainted with when I first visited this city.

Market Mallesh.
The man who could terrorise people just by showing his meter and saying “Wonendaaf”. His curly hair oiled with colours that could invite an Unicorn trying to run across the rainbow, paan-stained mouth and a black stud decorating his dirty ears, he could very well be your typical South Indian movie villain driving an expensive Volkswagen. But no money, Das Auto!

“Yelli Hoga beku sirrr…”, he asked, his paan hit my head strong before my brain could process his language. I struggled for my breath, more than in search of words. His bloodshot eyes fixated upon mine. His teeth clattered. Suddenly his face cluttered to a welcoming smile. “ Hosadavara Neevu?”, he broke into a smile again.

Holy Guravayurappa and that’s how I met him. The friend whom I never thought would set my coconuts rolling!

He was welcomed to the world as an orphan who was left in hunger for public apathy in the streets of Malleshwaram. Since he was found in a market in Malleshwaram, the wise old folks of the gazing public thought it would be appropriate to name him Market Mallesh and leave him for dead in a nearby slum. Such nobility, much wow!

Mallesh had a rough life. He would either be playing with tyres or balls by his neighbourhood. And by play, I do mean kick some as well! He was so very popular amongst the area folks that they rechristened him Market Messi and pooled in an Auto to send him off the neighbourhood for good. Maybe it was a good idea for them, but Mallesh was really humbled by this ‘perceived noble deed’ of his supposed friends and well-wishers. A tiger no matter how fierce is always a cat, a Bear no matter how white is always an Anil Kapoor! Life lessons hit him hard, that no one could take the ‘Market’ out of Mallesh.

“Sir, I have brought you all the vegetables that you had ordered and also 2 Litres of oil for Bijoy Sir”.

“Theek hai”, replied my boss, rubbing his fat tummy, the cruel benefactor of the deaths of a thousand harmless kachoris and Samosas. Samosas and Kachoris have feelings fillings too! His eyes suddenly lit up, like as if someone encroached his Roshagollas.

“Where’s my chips?”, his voice thundered across the room, to Market Mallesh, and also maybe to the market itself. Mallesh, our very own cheaper version of Bigbasket.com wanted to turn into Orkut.com and fade away from the wrath of Bay of Bengal.

I laughed.
My story has just begun. There’s still a lot to go before the Vada gets properly cooked in McL Kentucky Laxmi…

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